I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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