I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
