Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
