ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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