I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
