He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
what day is it and did you see me today?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
