he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
