I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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