i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
