Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
