Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
