dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
