i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
