see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
