i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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