tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
