well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
