i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
