Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
do nipples grow back?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
