Sry I called you an 8
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
