oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
