No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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