"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All I want is dick and wine.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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