Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
