i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
