I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
