Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
