end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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