i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
