You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
