508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
