i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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