It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
