You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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