i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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