so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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