I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
