So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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