I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
