so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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