we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
