you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You did what with his pubic hair?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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