is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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