It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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