I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Randomize
