its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
