I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
