Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
