You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
