do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
