idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
