Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
