why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
