And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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